Archive for the 'Best of Overheard' Category

Overheard New Yorkers are a little Sexual

Drunken cheerleader to fat friend: We’re the hottest non-lesbian girl couple ever.–68th & Lex

JAP: He asked me to rub his chest hair. I was like, ‘Can I braid your chest hair, put little beads on it and make it shimmy so I can pretend I’m on vacation?’–6 train

Drunk girl: I’m not a whore. I just like to have my crotch touched.–Mercury Lounge, LES

20-ish girl: You would rather I put where I pee in where you shit?!
Gay teen: Yes, oh god, yes! It is better than putting where I pee in something that you bleed, pee, and have babies come out of!–Outside the Met

Don’t forget to read the past Best of Overheard in New York posts!!!

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Overheard in New York Labor Day is Over

Black girl: Hey, mister, can we pet your dog?
Tough guy with groomed white poodle on leash: Sure.
Black girl to friend: See, that’s what a poodle looks like when a white man owns it.–10th & Christopher

Woman: Do you wanna go into those bushes and do it?
Man: Nah, we always fuck in Central Park. Let’s go to Washington Square.
Woman: Fine, but you have to buy me a funnel cake later.–Central Park

Punk girl: He doesn’t look Jewish.
Punk boy: He’s not, he’s Catholic… A real pope-fucker.–Rivington & Ludlow

Continue reading ‘Overheard in New York Labor Day is Over’

Overheard New Yorkers Have Lots of Love

Be sure to check out all of my Best of Overheard in New York category

Daughter: Belle looks so beautiful.
Dad: I think you’re mom is prettier.
Mom: Oh, thanks, honey.
Guy behind them: Someone wants to get laid tonight.–Beauty and the Beast showing

Man: Come on, baby, come back to my place!
Woman: Nah, the last time I went over to your place you stabbed me!
Man: Baby, that was four years ago!–F train, Roosevelt Island

Teen boy: Your wife’s a bitch, you know that?
Man: My wife is your mother!
Teen boy: Well, I’m just saying.–Broadway

Overheard Some Tourists can be Stupid

20-ish girl: Is this the line for the park?–Line for Neue Gallery, 85th & Madison

JAP on cell: Ummm… Some crazy lady just threw her coffee all over my legs. You don’t think I’ll get AIDS, do you?–Penn Station

Chick to doughnut: Don’t go to my stomach, okay? Just go to my titties.–125th & Broadway

Man on cell: Don’t call her a prostitute! That’s my mom you’re talking about. You lived with her — was she a prostitute then? No, she was not!–92nd & 1st

Mom to teen daughter: This is a very interesting place. It kind of has a European feel. –Au Bon Pain, 8th St

Chubs: Restaurant week is like Hanukkah for us fatties!–Little West 12th & 9th

Overheard in New York – Have A Great Labor Day Weekend!

Overheard New Yorkers are Friendly to Strangers

Gaggle of drunk women to friend with tiara: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!
Wasted stranger dude: Happy biiirthday, dear whoever-the-fuck-you-are!–C train

Bimbette: Look, it’s not like I mind tall, dark, and handsome, but it’s like, ‘Look at me — I’m hot… I should be able to nab a nerd.’
Friend: Nerds aren’t like shoes — you can’t just try them on for size. They have feelings, too.
Bimbette: And glasses.–34th & Lex

Tourist: Could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
NYer: No, but I could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant.–23th & 5th

Dude on motorcycle handing rose to girl: A beautiful rose for a beautiful lady.
Girl: Ew. –W 4th St

Overheard Overheard in New York Is On Fire Today

Oddly enough, my Best of Overheard today is all from today’s posts…

Guy: Do you know how a penis works?
Chick: Yeah, but they are usually in my mouth.–Houston St

Newspaper guy: Read all about it: girl passing me right now has holes in her jeans.
Girl with holy jeans: They’re made like that, asshole.–Port Authority

Hipster dude: … And she ended up renting some movie about Madame Curie.
Hipster chick: That’s the wax lady, right? Over at Times Square? I didn’t know there was a movie about her.
Hipster dude: I hate you.–Union Square

Frat boy #1: Dude, you got really skinny. What’s going on with you? Are you sick or something?
Frat boy #2: Yeah, bro, I have IBS — Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Frat boy #1: You shittin’ me!–91st & 1st

Hoochie: He thought I was boring because I wouldn’t blow him.–34th & 6th

Overheard I Overheard Something

Man to friend: I wonder if that dingleberry fell out of my ass yet.–Rockefeller Center

Girl on cell: All I heard all night was, ‘Oh my god, that’s Rachel. I used to date her sister’s roommate!’ And, ‘Oh my god, that’s Evan. Her brother went to camp with my ex-girlfriend’s cousin!’ I’m either gonna have to learn how to fake-play Jewish geography, or find myself some non-Jewish friends… Yes, I realize neither of those is possible.–33rd & 7th

Chick to another: She’s a weed-smoking, modern orthodox girl. I mean, I don’t think she goes to her rabbi’s high, but…–Brooklyn Museum

AND This is what I Overheard in my elevator at work:

Big Black Guy in Elevator (on Cell): Shit girl, you just bein’ paranoid. White people aren’t out to get you…. Nah… You bein’ paranoid… nah, the only people I hate are Fat people.  — My Office Building’s Elevator!


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