Mom: So, you’re gay, right?
Son: No, Mom, I’m not gay.
Mom: Yes, you are. I’ve seen your clothes.
Son: All the guys wear these.
Mom: All the gay ones, maybe.
Son: Go away.
Mom: If you were straight, you wouldn’t have cried so much after you were pushed out of my vagina.
Son: Actually, I think that proves my straightness. No straight guy could look at your cunt and not cry–6 train
20-ish WASP in fur coat on cell: Don’t you have a bowl? [Sigh] Do you have a bottle of tonic or, like, an apple or a traffic cone? Well, I’m sure there is something in your apartment I can make a bong out of.
80-ish Jewish woman: That’s an inappropriate conversation if I ever heard one…
20-ish WASP in fur coat: Whatever, that was my boss.–Elevator, 62nd & 2nd
Hipster girl, addressing iPhone campers: You’re waiting for a phone?! I can understand if it was for cupcakes…–Prince & Greene
Chick yelling out window of hybrid SUV: I’m a better driver than you, and I’m texting at the same time!–Westside Hwy