Overheard New Yorkers are Idiots

Black lady to coworker: Girl, I got me a real bad paper cut this afternoon. Hurt like a bitch! I swears, a real bad paper cut hurts more than actually being stabbed.–M3 bus
Chick on cell: I can’t decide if I want to fuck you or push you into oncoming traffic on the BQE –51st & Lex

Lady to dude: The problem with being an idealist is that everyone else in the world is stupid.–Housing Works bookstore

Loud broad on cell: You’re such an idiot! How could you be such an idiot?! That is idiotic… I can’t believe you are that much of an idiot… [Continues for minutes, then] Fine, Mom! I’ll speak to you soon.–Train from Stamford

Kid to another: No, really. I’m telling you — Michael Jackson used to be black. I saw it on TV.–B61 bus, Brooklyn

Hispanic teen #1: Yo, man, I was with this girl last night, and she was dressed all naked and shit, man.
Hispanic teen #2: Word? She was dressed all naked?
Hispanic teen #1: [Nods.]
Hispanic teen #3: Word?–Houston & Washington

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